<![CDATA[Love Moves.Us - Blog]]>Sat, 08 Aug 2026 06:07:03 -0500Weebly<![CDATA[When the Family We Imagined Didn't Come the Way We Expected]]>Tue, 28 Jul 2026 05:00:00 GMThttps://www.lovemoves.us/blog/when-the-family-we-imagined-didnt-come-the-way-we-expected
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John & Samantha's Adoption Journey

We go way back with Jason and Cheryl, to our early days serving together in children's ministry at church. Not long after, we were in a small group together. At the time, they were still waiting to adopt Aaliyah, so we got a front-row seat to their journey.

"We saw the waiting. We saw the heartbreak. We saw the faith it required. And we saw the joy."
​
John and I were married in 2011. John had already been blessed with Johanna and Gabe, and we were so excited to grow our family together. We tried for years to conceive naturally. We walked through multiple infertility treatments, culminating in IVF.

It was exhausting. It was heartbreaking. And it didn't work.

But from the very beginning, we had always known we wanted to adopt. Even during our infertility journey, that desire never changed. Looking back now, I truly believe God placed Jason and Cheryl in our lives before we even knew how desperately we would need them. What felt like doors closing through infertility was really God opening a different, more beautiful door for our family.

Adoption was never our backup plan. It became our calling.

A Long Season of Waiting

We officially began our adoption journey in 2015, and it was not all rainbows and butterflies. There were so many "no's." So much waiting.

There were seasons when my heart hurt so deeply that I pulled away from friends who had children. I remember being short and snippy with Cheryl for weeks. Eventually, I poured my heart out to her in a message, just raw, unfiltered grief about how badly I wanted a baby and how unfair it all felt. I hit send and immediately wished I could unsend it.
But she responded with grace. And we are still friends today.

"That's what LoveMoves.Us has been for us from the beginning, a place of grace in the middle of brokenness."

During our waiting, Jason and Cheryl started LoveMoves.Us. We supported them from the very beginning, attending Family Gatherings before we had even adopted, just to learn. We wanted to understand birth parents. We wanted to understand the realities of adoption, because adoption, at its core, begins with loss and brokenness. We needed to understand that.

The Courage to Honor Our Kids' Whole Stories

One of the biggest things LoveMoves.Us has given us is the courage to embrace our children's whole stories.
We have a relationship with Felicity's biological father, Jackson. We text multiple times a week. We share pictures. He has stayed at our home, and when Felicity asked for him to come for her birthday last year, he came. With Cooper's biological family, he has two brothers who are also adopted, and we have relationships with their families too.

It's this big, beautiful, blended web of people who might never have known each other otherwise. Our kids get the gift of knowing where they come from. They get the gift of connection.

"I truly don't think we would have had the courage to pursue those relationships without LoveMoves.Us."

LoveMoves.Us taught us that it's not our place to judge, or to draw conclusions about someone else's story. It's our place to show grace, to listen, to keep doors open. Our kids need to know their story, and that story deserves to be honored, not hidden.

Why Community Matters

In the adoption world, people often say things like, "They're so lucky to have you." Every time we hear that, we cringe. No child is lucky to experience foster care or adoption. Adoption begins with loss. What we can say is that we are grateful, grateful to be their parents, grateful for the families who love them too.

LoveMoves.Us has provided a safe place, not just for us as parents, but for our kids. For them, adoption is their normal. It's something we talk about openly, not something they have to whisper about. They know their story is safe here.
When we look at our family now, it doesn't look like what we originally imagined. It looks better. It looks bigger. It looks richer. It looks full of relationships we never would have had the courage to build on our own.
​
"Love truly moves us, to courage, to grace, to connection, and to family in its most beautiful form."

— John and Samantha

Join Us in the Work

Stories like John and Samantha's aren't meant to be read and forgotten, they're meant to invite others into what's happening in families like theirs. If their journey resonates with you, there are meaningful ways to step into this work alongside foster and adoptive families and the children they serve.

You can:
  • Give to help provide the resources families need for community, connection, and care as they build relationships that honor their children's whole stories.
  • Volunteer your time, skills, or presence to support children and caregivers navigating this journey.
  • Attend Family Gatherings or events hosted by LoveMoves.Us to learn, connect, and better understand the realities of foster care and adoption.

You don't have to do everything, but you can do something, and it matters more than it may seem.
]]><![CDATA[Sometimes Our Plans Are Not God’s Plans]]>Mon, 18 May 2026 15:51:55 GMThttps://www.lovemoves.us/blog/sometimes-our-plans-are-not-gods-plans
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​Bryan & Elaine’s Foster & Adoptive Journey

When we first began to consider foster care and possibly adoption, we believed God was leading us toward eventually fostering or adopting older children. At the time, our biological kids were young, so our plan was to help where we could until they were a bit older.

Working with Safe Families was the right fit for us. Each new child entering our home was a blessing filled with both excitement and struggle, joy and sorrow. Early on, we made a commitment to pursue attachment and give all that we could to each child because they needed and deserved it—children made in God’s image and deeply loved by Him.

When each child left, we felt it deeply. There was the happiness of watching them leave for home, praying it would be a place of safety and love for them—but also the sudden, painful loss that felt like a piece of our heart being taken away.

The first time was almost the last time.

After a season of sorrow and wrestling, we sat down with our biological kids and asked if we should open our home again. It was a hard question because we could tell they were feeling the pain too. Through tears, our seven- and eight-year-old responded with unexpected maturity: “If we don’t, who will?”
​
So we opened our home and hearts again… and again… and again.

A Call Into Foster Care

After several years with Safe Families, we felt it was time to move toward fostering, so we got our license. During training, we were told most people request babies—and that we should not expect to receive one. We were clear from the beginning: we wanted older kids.

The first call was for a baby.

They knew our preference, but there weren’t many options at the time. And again, that same question rose in us: If we don’t, who will? So we said yes.

We committed fully to attachment and love, falling deeply in love with that little boy while also holding the reality that the goal was reunification. At four months, it became clear he could not return home. We were asked whether we would adopt him or allow him to move to another family open to adoption.

One of the hardest decisions we have ever made was choosing for him to go to another home—an amazing home—but still a deeply painful separation.

While still grieving, we received another call: a baby, five days old. Again, we were reminded—we know you’re looking for older kids, but we don’t have many options. And again: If we don’t, who will? So we said yes.

We opened our home and our hearts again, even when we felt like we had very little left to give. And yet, we experienced God’s grace in a powerful way—He provided what we needed to continue loving. He never ran out, even when we felt empty.

We committed to reunification again, supporting his biological mom through the process. Fourteen months later, his brother was born—and again, we said yes.

Years of attachment and love passed. Eventually, it became clear that the two boys could not return home. This time, when we were asked if we would adopt them, there was no question of “If we don’t, who will?”

This time, it was simple: we will.
​
Sometimes our plans are not God’s plans—but His plans are always better. Better does not mean easier.

​Feeling Alone in the Journey

Even in the midst of calling and obedience, there were long stretches where we felt very alone.

People were kind, but often unaware of what life actually looked like inside our home—raising children with trauma histories and neurological challenges. The reality included insurance battles, medical appointments, waiting lists, school meetings, therapy schedules, meltdowns, regressions, sleepless nights, and the ongoing weight of secondary trauma.

And then there was the emotional layer: well-meaning advice that didn’t fit, misunderstandings about trauma responses, and behavior being misread as simply “bad behavior.” It could leave you feeling misunderstood, frustrated, and exhausted all at once. There were moments where it felt like no one really saw what was happening behind the scenes.

“We often felt alone, as if no one really understood what we were going through.”

Finding Community Through LoveMoves.Us

When we first attended a LoveMoves.Us family gathering, we weren’t sure what to expect.

What we found was something we had been missing: people who understood.

Not just in theory—but in lived experience.

We saw children struggling in ways that mirrored our own. We met parents navigating the same systems, the same appointments, the same challenges. For the first time in a long time, we didn’t have to explain everything before being understood.

We could ask practical questions and receive real answers—from hospital accommodations, to therapy recommendations, to school advocacy strategies. We could share struggles without needing to justify them.

And just as importantly, we saw celebration. Real, genuine celebration of small victories that others might overlook—but that mean everything in this journey.
​
It became—and still is—a place of encouragement and hope.

Love doesn’t erase hardship, but it moves us to keep showing up, keep learning, keep advocating, and keep caring deeply.

It is a place where we can be a messy, real, and deeply loved foster and adoptive family.

Why Community Matters

This journey was never meant to be walked alone.

Foster care and adoption stretch every part of a family—emotionally, spiritually, physically, and relationally. Without community, the weight can become overwhelming.

Community doesn’t remove the hard parts, but it changes how you carry them.

It gives language when you don’t have words. It gives practical help when you’re stuck. It gives understanding when others misunderstand. And sometimes, it simply reminds you that you’re not the only one still standing in the middle of something hard.

For us, community has been a reminder that love is not just an emotion—it’s something lived out in shared burdens, shared wisdom, and shared hope.

And while the journey has not gone the way we expected, we can say this with confidence: we are not walking it alone.
​
— Bryan and Elaine Heller

Join Us in the Work

Stories like the Hellers’ are not meant to be read and forgotten—they are meant to invite others into what God is doing in families like theirs.

If their journey resonates with you, there are meaningful ways to step into this work alongside foster and adoptive families and the children they serve.

You can:
  • Give to help provide the resources families need for therapy, education support, and daily care for children with complex needs—and to help fund free family gatherings and other events that support foster and adoptive families and children.
  • Volunteer your time, skills, or presence to support children and caregivers who often carry this journey in isolation.
  • Attend Family Gatherings or events hosted by LoveMoves.Us to learn, connect, and better understand the realities of foster care and adoption.​
​
You don’t have to do everything—but you can do something, and it matters more than it may seem.
]]><![CDATA[Reflecting on a Year of Impact and Gratitude at LoveMoves.Us]]>Mon, 09 Feb 2026 20:37:49 GMThttps://www.lovemoves.us/blog/reflecting-on-a-year-of-impact-and-gratitude-at-lovemovesus"We attended our first group, and it was literally a breath of life. We left feeling so supported, refreshed, and understood."
​
When you pause and look back over the past year, what are you grateful for?
At LoveMoves.Us, one of the things we’re most grateful for is you — your engagement, support, and generosity have made an incredible difference for families in our programs.
Here’s a glimpse of the impact you’ve helped create:
  • 41 parents empowered through our Cultivate Connection program to care for the complex needs of their children.
  • 65 children cared for in attachment-rich, trauma-informed, healing, and evidence-based ways.
  • New families discovering support through our Family Gatherings.
  • Parents enjoying a much-needed break at our Parents’ Night Out events.
  • Fun summer days filled with pool parties, skating, baseball, and beach outings that built community and connection.
We’re especially grateful for volunteers who make these experiences possible. Matt Krogh began and led a LoveMoves.Us Family Gathering in his community from 2018 through May 2025, and now Jolene Muniz is continuing that important work.
Your impact goes beyond just attendance. Every family who participates in a Family Gathering feels seen, supported, and loved — all because of people like you.
Volunteer Spotlight

Volunteers come in all forms. You don’t have to foster or adopt to make a difference:
  • Missy and Joanna in Munster faithfully serve each month in our children’s program, leading activities and giving parents the support they need to attend Family Gatherings.
  • Kim Simmons, a school psychologist and hostess at our Joliet location, helps with meals and guides families whose children face significant behavioral challenges at school, assisting with meetings, advocacy, and securing proper 504 plans and IEPs.
Their dedication is a beautiful reminder that every act of service matters.
Looking Ahead to 2026

In the year ahead, Carl will carry the values of LoveMoves.Us forward, ensuring parents and families are deeply cared for and volunteers are supported. With new systems, funding streams, and leaders, 2026 promises to bring even more Family Gatherings in new locations — opportunities made possible because of your generosity.
The ways to invest in children’s lives are plentiful, and your support ensures these opportunities reach the families who need them most.
Thank you for helping bring hope, healing, and connection to hundreds of children!
]]><![CDATA[“You Saved Our Family”: How Your Generosity Changes Lives]]>Mon, 24 Nov 2025 13:07:24 GMThttps://www.lovemoves.us/blog/you-saved-our-family-how-your-generosity-changes-livesPicture
A Cry for Help in the Middle of the Holidays
“Our family would not be thriving without Love Moves Us. We are forever grateful for the love, support, and education that we’ve gotten from LMU. You saved our family.”
Do you get feelings of nostalgia, joy, celebration, and togetherness during the holidays? If you grew up in a healthy, loving home, you probably do.
But for many who foster or adopt, the holidays can bring emotions and behaviors that leave them baffled and unprepared. Two young kids screaming, throwing toys, and overturning furniture in a rage like you’ve never seen before in a child—and for the third time that day. You’re exhausted, sick, and completely unsure what to do next.
You love these kids with everything in you, but nothing seems to be working or helping. You find yourself wondering, “What have we done? Are we failing them?”

Rich & Elizabeth’s Breaking Point
That’s how Rich and Elizabeth felt. They had opened their hearts and home to two boys who desperately needed family—but the boys reacted explosively at the simplest “no.” They were in constant crisis and questioning their decision.
Feeling like “the worst parents,” Elizabeth googled “foster support groups” and found LoveMoves.Us. She decided to attend a Family Gathering one cold January night.
That night changed everything.

Finding Understanding and Support
For the first time, they found people who understood what they were going through. People who didn’t judge, but listened and empathized. They learned practical, helpful tools that began to change their family and bring healing.
They drove home that evening with tears of relief, and the boys fell asleep peacefully in the back seat.

Because Community Matters
When parents find hope, healing, and community, everything begins to shift. Children feel safe enough to trust again. Homes become calmer, more connected, and more resilient.
Today, Rich and Elizabeth’s family is thriving. They’re building a secure attachment with their kids. The boys have fewer meltdowns, and they all enjoy connection. Elizabeth says, “I can confidently say our family would not be in this place without LoveMoves.Us.”

A Big Step Forward: Our New Program Director
To help reach and equip more parents to understand how trauma has impacted their children—and how to promote healing through connection—we recently hired a full-time program director.
This will help more children feel safe and cared for, and give parents the knowledge and tools they need to support healing in their homes.

Thank You for Being Part of This Community
Whether you attend gatherings, volunteer, donate, share resources, encourage other families, or simply stay connected with our mission, you are part of what makes stories like Rich and Elizabeth’s possible.
We are grateful for you and look forward to continuing this work together—one family at a time.
]]><![CDATA[Because of You, Families Feel Seen and Supported!]]>Tue, 11 Nov 2025 19:57:34 GMThttps://www.lovemoves.us/blog/because-of-you-families-feel-seen-and-supportedPicture
A Child’s Search for Belonging
Imagine being 8 years old and realizing you look nothing like anyone in your family.
You love them, but something still feels missing.
For many adoptees, this quiet tension is hard to put into words. They feel caught between two worlds — loved deeply, yet unsure where they fully belong.

One adult adoptee recently shared words that stuck with us:
“I often do not feel very connected with my adoptive mom (and family) and would have really benefited from
having more of a support system.”

          Finding a Place to Belong
Now imagine discovering a place where that child — and their parents — can find exactly that support.
A place where kids meet others who share their experience, where parents learn tools to build stronger emotional connections, and where everyone feels like they finally belong.
When this same adoptee learned about LoveMoves.Us, she said something that touched our hearts:

“I absolutely love what you guys do, and I wish I knew about your organization sooner. I would have loved to have grown up with a community of others with adoptive children.”

Those words remind us why this work matters — and why you, our supporters, are so essential.

The Difference You Make
Because of your generosity, children who once felt unseen now feel understood.
Parents who once felt overwhelmed now find connection, strength, and hope.
Families who wondered if they could keep going now have a community to lean on.

You’ll never meet every child whose life you’ve touched, but your kindness is shaping their stories every day.
When a child finally feels safe, known, and accepted… when a parent breathes easier because they’ve found the support they needed… when a family stays together instead of giving up — that’s because of you.

Belonging. Healing. Hope.
Your giving makes belonging possible.
It makes laughter and healing possible.
It makes hope possible.
From all of us at LoveMoves.Us — and from every family you’ve helped — thank you.
You didn’t just give; you showed up for families who needed you most.

]]><![CDATA[Who Do You Call at Midnight?]]>Tue, 09 Sep 2025 19:43:56 GMThttps://www.lovemoves.us/blog/who-do-you-call-at-midnightIf you’ve ever been to Denver, you know the sun shines differently there — bright, dry, and surrounded by the beauty of the mountains. I was recently in Denver helping my parents with work on their new house. My sisters and I spent four days doing manual labor, but honestly? It was full of laughter, fun, and the kind of connection that makes family time so meaningful.

That experience was a stark contrast to what one of our families faced back home.

A Midnight Emergency
Imagine this: it’s dark, it’s late, and you’re exhausted. Your child is raging and violent. A call to 911. An ambulance ride to the hospital. Hours sitting alone, overwhelmed, wondering if anyone understands what you’re going through.

Unless…

You have a community that cares. People who don’t just say they’ll pray, but actually get in the car and come sit with you at the hospital. People who understand. People who show up.

That’s what it means when Love Moves Us.

What Your Support Makes Possible
Your generosity provides this kind of community for families who foster and adopt. Families facing trauma and children who need attachment and trust don’t have to walk the journey alone.

This summer alone, your support made possible:
  • Parents’ Night Out
  • Ice cream for 200 foster parents and children
  • A roller skating pizza party
  • A baseball game with fireworks and a hot dog dinner
  • A beach day cookout with gifts for every family
  • Five pool days filled with sun, joy, and laughter
  • Over $2,500 raised for a family who lost their home to fire

What’s Next: Our Biggest Step Yet
We believe every family should have someone they can call or text at midnight — and never face these challenges alone. To make that possible, we’re taking the biggest step in our history: hiring a full-time program director.

This role will help us expand our reach, launch new groups, partner with churches and businesses, and care for volunteer leaders. We’re also planning for a part-time admin, a volunteer coordinator, and a social media manager to strengthen this growing movement.

How You Can Help
Expanding our team is a big investment, but it’s the next step in meeting the needs of children and families longing for community and support.

Your generosity makes such a difference and changes lives forever. Your generosity makes such a difference. Would you consider giving — one-time or monthly — to help support our expansion into serving more children and families? 

Together, we can expand our reach into new areas and ensure no family ever has to face midnight alone.


]]><![CDATA[From Surviving to Thriving: The Bell Family’s New Chapter]]>Mon, 05 May 2025 19:27:05 GMThttps://www.lovemoves.us/blog/from-surviving-to-thriving-the-bell-familys-new-chapterPicture

Do you want to hear some truly amazing news?
Last April, we shared the Bell family's story—a raw, honest glimpse into the reality of fostering. What we love most about their journey is how it represents the transformation that can happen when families dive headfirst into the community, encouragement, and support that LoveMoves.Us provides.

This past February, Rich and Elizabeth shared their story at our Hearts for Hope Gala. It was powerful then, and their story continues, as stories do.
​
When Rich and Elizabeth welcomed two young boys into their home in October 2022, life quickly spiraled into, as Rich described, “all-out mayhem all the time.”

Elizabeth explains:
“We were exhausted and sick. Our kids were reacting explosively to even the simplest ‘no.’ Hours-long screaming, crying fits with kids throwing things, overturning furniture, and physically threatening everyone in the house were daily occurrences, many times more than once a day. Our whole family was in ‘crisis mode’ all the time.”
The phone calls from school and daycare were constant. Their two-year-old was nearly placed on a behavior
​ improvement plan—just for not staying quiet during nap time.
“In all honesty, we were really questioning our decision, thinking we were the worst parents and wondering how and if we were ever going to do this long term. We didn’t know what to do or how to help our kids.”
In desperation, Elizabeth turned to Google and searched for foster support groups.
That’s when they discovered LoveMoves.Us.
“We attended our first Family Gathering in January 2023. As we were driving home that night, I cried from relief,
and the boys fell asleep peacefully in the back seat.”

From that moment on, everything started to change.
The Bells attended our Cultivate Connection training last January and began to intentionally connect with their kids and advocate for them. When their second grader was at risk of suspension, Rich and Elizabeth worked with the school to help staff understand the impact of trauma and how to respond with compassion.
“I am happy to say that we finalized guardianship of the boys in November, and we are THRIVING as a family. We have only gotten ONE phone call from school all year!”

This is what happens when families get the support they need.
“I can confidently say that our family would not be in this place without LoveMoves.Us. We are forever grateful for the love, support, and education that we’ve gotten.”
That’s what it’s all about.
When you give, this is the difference you’re making.
As summer approaches, giving tends to go down—but the needs of families who foster and adopt don’t. Would you consider joining our monthly giving program to ensure they’re supported year-round?
“We are so grateful for this ministry and what it has done for our family.”
– Rich & Elizabeth Bell
]]><![CDATA[Jess & Ryan's Story]]>Wed, 12 Feb 2025 20:29:25 GMThttps://www.lovemoves.us/blog/jesss-storyFor LoveMoves.Us

It’s always about ONE.

​Andy Stanley said, “Do for ONE, what you wish you could do for everyone.” 
​That’s been a motto for LoveMoves.Us from the very beginning. Picture
Listen to how ONE family has been impacted this past year. 

“Two years ago I took a lot of naps. I read lots of books for
 fun. I took girl's trips with friends. I bought ridiculous
amounts of toys and treats for my dogs. My husband
Ryan & I also traveled, we got massages, and we ate out, a lot.

Every time I would see these babies a family at our church
had taken in through foster care, I would think to myself,
“We should be doing this”.

My husband usually responds to my ideas with an immediate "No!"…until
I said, "We should probably take in some children." 
That time, that ​one time, he said yes. ​

​Saying “Yes” to 6 children means we have had to say a lot of "No's".  No to fun girls’ trips. No to overseas romantic getaways. No to eating out on a regular basis.

People have also said "No" to us.  Family has become distant, more so with each child we took into the home.  They do not really understand why we took in so many or why it is so hard to parent them.

Two come from a drug den, two from domestic violence and two from neglect. I have 6 kids with very different needs, and I cannot meet all of them.

 I am frustrated because "normal" parenting tips do not work with my kids. Actually, they can make things worse.  Timeouts make them feel isolated and rejected. You can't spank a kid who comes from domestic violence. 
​You can't love the trauma out of a child.  
So, what do you do?
"We could not do this without the support and education provided by LoveMoves.Us" - Jess
From the moment we came to LoveMoves.Us, we were welcomed with the open arms by parents who were experiencing many of the same struggles were. We felt heard and understood. We found relief in the fact we are not alone in our insecurities and felt failures in this journey.

The monthly check-ins we get with "Love Moves Us" help us to stay the course when we feel like we can't keep going.  We look forward to these family dinners, they are therapy, education and respite all in one.
"I hope you know that when you support Love Moves Us, it is invaluable
​ to us as Foster and Adoptive Parents."
We need support, and what you give, no matter the amount or the time, it is felt, and it is appreciated. 
​ When you donate, I can be educated. 
​​​
When you support LoveMoves.Us, I can turn my thoughts from hopeless to hopeful and I can chase down the runaway child and turn the screams into laughter.” ~ Jess

But LoveMoves.Us has impacted way more than just ONE.
We’ve impacted hundreds of children, and other parents like Jess.
​Will you join us in the fight for the hearts of children? 
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Giving today will help us expand our staff and bring LoveMoves.Us’ impact to new areas, serving more children and
​more families.
  • More children being loved on and learning new developmental skills.
  • More parents learning the best ways to care for their kids, and themselves.
  • More fun and encouraging events to provide a supportive community.
​
“Thank you for pouring into our family, for supporting us in the best way you can. Thank you for helping us to change these children's lives as they change ours.” ~ Jess




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]]><![CDATA[Why would you suspend a second grader from school?]]>Tue, 14 May 2024 17:33:41 GMThttps://www.lovemoves.us/blog/why-would-you-suspend-a-second-grader-from-schoolWe haven't been suspended since we were able to advocate for him and got the help we needed!
​What would have to happen? You would think it would have to be pretty severe – even life-threatening, perhaps.

Rich and Elizabeth have been dealing with this every week throughout the entire school year.

They have worked hard to understand what their son needs and how to help him heal from a difficult past.

They have learned how to quell difficult behaviors of aggression, defiance, and rage.

Unfortunately, the school, hasn’t been open to what this little guy needs. They have tried the same approach over and over with the same results.

The school’s approach: Authoritarian-style discipline resulting in explosive behavior leading them to punish the child.
​
It’s been a repetitive cycle.
Rich and Elizabeth attended our 9-week Cultivate Connection parenting class from January through March.  In this class they learned principles and strategies to help their son build trust, feel safe and to foster connection.​
“Without Cultivate Connection we wouldn't have even known how describe the causes of our son's behavior. But the class and the support from others really helped us to be strong advocates for providing the supports he needed rather than allowing the school to try to find "punishments" that he would respond to.”

​When you give to LoveMoves.Us, you provide the training to give the Bells and many other families actionable strategies to build the trust and attachment their kids desperately need.
But some families need more intensive support and therapy.
We’ve partnered with Holt International to do a 3-day weekend camp based on T.B.R.I.© (Trust-Based Relational Intervention) that integrates the latest in neuroscience, sensory processing, and attachment to meet the needs of children.
The cost for such a therapeutic-rich environment is often prohibitive for many families who need such help. 
We’re sponsoring two families to be able to attend this T.B.R.I. Camp!
$1,400 will provide scholarships for two families to attend this much-needed TBRI weekend intensive camp, and you can help!

Gifts of time and finances are essential to serving and supporting so many families. Summer months tend to see a dip in giving but we remain steadfast in giving generously to families who foster or adopt.

“We are so grateful for this ministry and what it has done for our family.”
                                                                                              – Rich & Elizabeth Bell
If you would you give a special gift to send two families, like the Bells, to a TBRI weekend intensive camp with equine therapy, you can give here.

GIVE HERE
]]><![CDATA[What I wish every foster or adoptive parent knew.]]>Thu, 14 Sep 2023 15:40:21 GMThttps://www.lovemoves.us/blog/what-i-wish-every-foster-or-adoptive-parent-knewIf you are a parent who decided to foster or adopt a child, you are part of my tribe of favorite people. Because of your decision to care for a child who isn’t biologically yours, you face a lot of unique challenges. 

That's why LoveMoves.Us exists. 

Family Gatherings provide you with community, encouragement, and support. They offer shared experience, and provide guidance and tools to help you with your parenting. 

But there is one critical aspect that tends to get overlooked. Family Gatherings aren’t just for you. 

They’re not just for when you are in crisis. 
They’re not just for when you need help. 
They’re not just for finding community.

Don’t underestimate the impact of Family Gatherings on your children's well-being.

I recently spoke with a transracial adoptee who received her doctorate in anthropology and has used her experience and voice to help other parents and organizations understand the adoptee perspective. She offers insight and consults on how we can be better parents to adoptees. 

She told me that Family Gatherings are vital for children who have been in foster care or were adopted. Here's why:
  1. Attachment and Trust: Changes in caregivers and environments can disrupt a child's ability to form secure attachments. This is true for many children who were adopted at birth also. This can lead to difficulties in trusting others, forming healthy relationships, and regulating emotions. Family Gatherings offer a safe community that teaches parents how to form attachment with their children to build trust, and teaches children how to regulate their emotions. 
  2. Identity and Self-Esteem: Growing up in a non-traditional family, many children wrestle with their identity impacting their self-esteem. At Family Gatherings, children find friends, see families like theirs, other kids of the same ethnicity, and others who are adopted or in foster care, assuring them they are not the only ones. When they are able to build a strong sense of identity, it builds their self-esteem.
  3. Emotional Support and Behavioral Struggles: The trauma of being removed from their biological families and experiencing struggles with identity, loss, and trauma can lead to emotional and behavioral challenges. Children might exhibit anger, anxiety, depression, or exhibit acting-out behaviors because they haven’t learned how to get their needs met in healthy, positive ways. Getting the right tools as a parent, normalizing your child’s experience, and teaching them ways to regulate their emotions helps to ease behavioral issues. When they learn that a safe adult will meet their needs, behaviors start to lessen.
  4. Loss and Grief: Children who are adopted or in foster care often feel a strong sense of loss, not only of their biological families but also of relationships, familiar surroundings, and routines. This ongoing sense of loss and grief can impact their emotional well-being. Finding a community of others who experience these things normalizes their experience. This becomes increasingly important as the child gets older - particularly around ages 11-14.
  5. Normalization and Belonging: Growing up in non-traditional family settings, many children question their identity and sense of belonging. By attending Family Gatherings, you contribute to creating a sense of normalcy for your children. As you gain insights into strategies that work, children witness the unity and strength within the community, which reassures them that they are not alone on this journey. 

Being a part of Family Gatherings is a strong support for parents. But Family Gatherings help children foster a strong sense of identity, normalize their experience, and help them cope with grief and loss in healthy ways. 

By participating in Family Gatherings, you demonstrate your commitment to the holistic well-being of your families…and you just might encourage or help another family even when you don’t feel like you need the support. 

Your journey of foster and adoptive parenting is one that requires trauma-informed, attachment-based, patient, empathetic, almost-therapeutic parenting; and being a part of a community that encourages you in this helps you and your children all the more.

If you haven't been a part of LoveMoves.Us Family Gatherings, I encourage you to check one out, or start one in your area. Your active involvement will undoubtedly play a vital role in shaping brighter futures for our children.

Advocating for our children,

Jason Bentsen]]>