by Amy Estrada
They say everything changes when you have kids. And whether the children are biological, foster, or adoptive – that statement is certainly true.
So, when you start a family you prepare yourself for giving up free time for doctor appointments, school functions, family activities. You prepare yourself to give love, affection, attention, and guidance. And of course, you plan for your bank account to be hit – HARD.
In the foster/adoptive world you can prepare yourself and plan for everything around you to change but what you can’t prepare for is how it will change YOU.
How will you react to a child who screams ‘You’re not my mommy!’? How will you react to the complete lack of respect and disregard that you witness from biological parents as they stand in front of a judge who is asking why they are still not doing what it takes to get their kids back? How will it make you feel when these parents aren’t willing to do the rehab or the classes but then fight against their kids being adopted into loving homes?
You can’t prepare for that. You can’t set your heart up for witnessing the pain that is inside these innocent kids. You may think you can, but then they show up and behind closed doors you wonder if you have what it takes to prove to them that they are loved, that what their real mommies and daddies have done won’t happen to them anymore with you.
I thought I would be prepared. I thought Pride training would have me ready for the ‘you’re not my mommy screams’ and the pain of watching these kids suffer. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
But what made that okay, was that I wasn’t alone. For every unknown, doubt, concern, struggle – there was LoveMoves.Us and the people who have become like family.
Struggling with a teen? LoveMoves.Us has a member with experience.
Need a Medicaid approved dentist? LoveMoves.Us has a recommendation.
Last minute placement and no age appropriate toys? LoveMoves.Us has a donation.
Wondering how to deal with a certain issue? LoveMoves.Us hosts Family Gatherings where we get to watch educational videos and ask questions about REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES OF OTHER PARENTS.
So while I may not have been prepared for the world that is foster/adoption the way that I thought I would, LoveMoves.Us has provided me with the tools and knowledge to react to every situation or concern that I’ve come across in my first year as a foster mother.
LoveMoves.Us can’t prevent these kids from coming into care. They can’t make the biological parents do what it takes to keep their children. But what they can do is make it possible for the children who come into care to have caring, supportive, and reactive parents who have priceless and invaluable resources available to them through the founders and other families of LoveMoves.Us.
Mark & Amy currently reside in New Lenox, IL. Both from south suburbs of Chicago, they met after being introduced to each other by their mothers in 2013. Two years later they were married. A huge lover of animals, Mark is the Operations Manager of a large animal shelter and Amy is a Process Engineer in the baking industry.
Along with their biological 3 month old son, Bryan, they have two foster children - a 17 year old boy and his 10 year old sister who have been with the Estrada's since March 2017.
They say everything changes when you have kids. And whether the children are biological, foster, or adoptive – that statement is certainly true.
So, when you start a family you prepare yourself for giving up free time for doctor appointments, school functions, family activities. You prepare yourself to give love, affection, attention, and guidance. And of course, you plan for your bank account to be hit – HARD.
In the foster/adoptive world you can prepare yourself and plan for everything around you to change but what you can’t prepare for is how it will change YOU.
How will you react to a child who screams ‘You’re not my mommy!’? How will you react to the complete lack of respect and disregard that you witness from biological parents as they stand in front of a judge who is asking why they are still not doing what it takes to get their kids back? How will it make you feel when these parents aren’t willing to do the rehab or the classes but then fight against their kids being adopted into loving homes?
You can’t prepare for that. You can’t set your heart up for witnessing the pain that is inside these innocent kids. You may think you can, but then they show up and behind closed doors you wonder if you have what it takes to prove to them that they are loved, that what their real mommies and daddies have done won’t happen to them anymore with you.
I thought I would be prepared. I thought Pride training would have me ready for the ‘you’re not my mommy screams’ and the pain of watching these kids suffer. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
But what made that okay, was that I wasn’t alone. For every unknown, doubt, concern, struggle – there was LoveMoves.Us and the people who have become like family.
Struggling with a teen? LoveMoves.Us has a member with experience.
Need a Medicaid approved dentist? LoveMoves.Us has a recommendation.
Last minute placement and no age appropriate toys? LoveMoves.Us has a donation.
Wondering how to deal with a certain issue? LoveMoves.Us hosts Family Gatherings where we get to watch educational videos and ask questions about REAL LIFE EXPERIENCES OF OTHER PARENTS.
So while I may not have been prepared for the world that is foster/adoption the way that I thought I would, LoveMoves.Us has provided me with the tools and knowledge to react to every situation or concern that I’ve come across in my first year as a foster mother.
LoveMoves.Us can’t prevent these kids from coming into care. They can’t make the biological parents do what it takes to keep their children. But what they can do is make it possible for the children who come into care to have caring, supportive, and reactive parents who have priceless and invaluable resources available to them through the founders and other families of LoveMoves.Us.
Mark & Amy currently reside in New Lenox, IL. Both from south suburbs of Chicago, they met after being introduced to each other by their mothers in 2013. Two years later they were married. A huge lover of animals, Mark is the Operations Manager of a large animal shelter and Amy is a Process Engineer in the baking industry.
Along with their biological 3 month old son, Bryan, they have two foster children - a 17 year old boy and his 10 year old sister who have been with the Estrada's since March 2017.
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