Kristen & Iggy Rojas have been attending LoveMoves.Us Family Gatherings for over a year and a half. They might be all smiles in this picture, but Kristen recently shared the following:
“It’s been a hard summer. Parenting is hard.
Parenting other people’s kids is REALLY hard- for a lot of reasons, but the one that’s been exhausting lately is trauma.
When kids aren’t with their first parents there is ALWAYS trauma.
In case you don’t know, trauma SUCKS. It is truly an invisible disability.
Trauma literally changes the structure and functioning of the brain and entire biological systems are wired differently. Sometimes this makes kids look like they are just being jerks.
My God, they can be challenging. But what looks like disrespect, defiance, anger, are really just scared kids, hurt kids, doing all their body knows to survive.
Trauma makes kids terrified to be loved, because in their experience that’s how you get the most hurt.
Parenting kids from trauma requires a completely different approach to discipline that others often don’t understand and therefore may criticize.
It’s waking up every day ready to continue loving them despite them taking their hurt out on you.
We’ve learned to be the anchor of stability during their storm, even when it looks like they are the storm. Over here, lately, it’s been so stormy, but that just makes me cherish even more these sweet moments we have.
It was SO nice to be surrounded by others who understood
and to have a little respite while our kids were well taken care of while we connected with other adults.
Outside of the monthly meetings, we get ongoing support that make us feel loved, supported, and not alone.
Sometimes it is in form of a meal or tangible needed resource, other times it is an encouraging text or prayer offered up. All of it fills us up and helps us keep going.
In light of it all, our kids are survivors, warriors, and it is my life’s greatest honor and privilege to be part of their story.
We are so grateful for Love Moves Us
and everyone who helps make it happen!!!”
~Kristen Rojas, foster mom